The year was 2011, and I was 30 years old. I was waiting in line to enter a conference in Albany, Oregon. I was there to receive an impartation from the traveling evangelist that was going to minister. As I waited, a woman around the age of 55, slowly walked by me. She turned and looked at me. I instantly felt the presence of the Lord she carried, which was emanating from her. She said, “You have everything you need inside of you. The Lord gives us things as we can handle them. The Lord doesn’t do things how you think or how you want Him to. He does things how He wants to do them.”
This word didn’t even make my prophetic word list at the time. Little did I know that it would become the greatest prophetic word I had ever received. In 2011, I had only been following the Lord as a disciple for about four years. The Kingdom of God had only been exploding in me since 2008, so I was still incredibly immature (spiritually). The cross had only worked in me to a measure, so I could not hear the word that had been given to me. My focus was on so called “bigger” words that focused on my calling and ministry. At the time, the greatest prophetic word slipped through the cracks.
Looking back, I can see that this prophetic word was a true one. A word that did not have any fluff or sugar coating added to it from the soul of the prophetic person. The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy (Revelation 19:10), and this word had the testimony of Jesus in it. The word focused on Jesus, pointed to His will, and exalted the Lamb of God. It gently took a baseball bat to my self-life, while turning my attention to the “I AM”.
Oh that the testimony of Jesus would return to the modern prophetic ministry. True prophets will testify of what Jesus wants His people to hear (His testimony), and not what our uncrucified souls want to hear. If the testimony of Jesus (which is the true spirit of prophecy) is absent from a prophetic ministry, we must question if it is indeed a true prophetic ministry. The true prophetic ministry will be prophesying God’s eternal plan, purpose, and will.
After over decade of carrying my cross, and experiencing a measure of the crucifixion; I now see the value in that word, and what the Lord was trying to convey to me at the time. I feel it necessary to release this understanding now, so people will not make the same mistakes I did.
You Have Everything You Need Inside You
We are a new creation. We have the Spirit of Christ living inside us. Jesus is in the Father and the Father is in Him (John 14:11, 20). The fullness of the Godhead dwells in Jesus (Colossians 2:9). In Jesus, is hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge (Colossians 2:3). So if the fullness of the Godhead dwells in us, we have access to all that we will ever need. The Lord desires to teach us how to go inward, to Himself, and access what we need according to His will.
The Lord has taught me to wait upon Him in silent prayer. When I first started doing this in 2009, His presence begin to fill me in the secret place. Waiting on God is a doorway to the Spirit, and to the manifest presence of God. I had to wait on the Lord two or three hours a day for around three weeks before I began to feel His presence. He will test us on how bad we really want Him, and whether we will give up seeking Him when we don’t feel anything.
Silent communion and prayer has given me access to the One who fulfills all of our needs and desires. In the secret place of His presence, He gave me a passion and hunger for Himself. The Lord ministered inner healing to me when I was hurt. He has given me much wisdom and revelation over the years in that secret place. The Father has also revealed His love in me. By simply being with Him, I came to know His love. I don’t ever need to hear another sermon on God’s love, because He has personally given me His love (and continues to work His love deeper in me). I know it from experience, and I don’t question His love when negative things happen in my life. He wants to do this for all of His sons and daughters.
The Father is desiring to be our everything. He longs for us to know Him inwardly by simply being with Him. In His presence is life and light. The greatest thing we can ever accomplish in this life is to be before the great King in the private place. Spiritual gifts, ministry, and the most powerful anointings; pale in comparison to being before the great Holy King. Your place of significance in this life can be found before the Lord. Out of this place of intimacy, you will have access to everything the Lord desires to do through you.
“For we who have believed (adhered to and trusted in and relied on God) do enter that rest, in accordance with His declaration that those [who did not believe] should not enter when He said, As I swore in My wrath, They shall not enter My rest; and this He said although [His] works had been completed and prepared [and waiting for all who would believe] from the foundation of the world. [Ps. 95:11.]” (Hebrews 4:3 AMPC)
Everything that Israel needed to fulfill their assignment and enter the promise land had already been completed and prepared by God. The same is true for us. The Lord has done the work, and it has been complete since the foundation of the world. We gain access to that completed work by entering into His rest. As we secret ourselves away and rest in the presence of the Lord, He releases His own works in His timing and in His way. The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose hearts are complete, safe, peaceful, perfect, whole, full, and at peace toward Him (2 Chronicles 16:9). Resting in the Lord, opens the door for God to do and release everything we need. Everything we need is inside of us. The King and His Kingdom are within (Luke 17:21, Matthew 6:33).
The Lord Gives Us Things as We Can Handle Them
In 2011 I thought that I was ready to move in the anointing and the miracle working power of God. I was not ready. The Lord, in His great mercy, will withhold His power from us; until we are no longer living, and Christ is living through us. As many of us have found out, this is a process that takes years and even decades. Christ is more concerned about us attaining to the high Heavenly call of being an overcomer, becoming the bride, and being ranked among the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven (so we can be in a close proximity to Him for eternity); then He is fulfilling our earthly calls of ministry. Our ministry callings are secondary.
The Lord takes His time with us in order to rid us of pride, the need to be important or recognized, and the need to be accepted or hold a position among men. If He gives us the anointing before removing the self-life in us, by means of the cross-life; the anointing will destroy us. If we are still living by our own life, Christ will not be living through us. The Anointed One is the only One who can handle and release the anointing through us. Church history is riddled with men and women who did not embrace the cross, and the anointing crushed them. They will still be in Heaven, but many will be among the least in the Kingdom.
“Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in Me? What I am telling you I do not say on My own authority and of My own accord; but the Father Who lives continually in Me does the ( His ) works (His own miracles, deeds of power). Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me; or else believe Me for the sake of the [very] works themselves. [If you cannot trust Me, at least let these works that I do in My Father's name convince you.] I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, if anyone steadfastly believes in Me, he will himself be able to do the things that I do; and he will do even greater things than these, because I go to the Father.” (John 14:10-12 AMPC)
Jesus, as always, is our example. The above scripture indicates that the Father performed works of power through Jesus to fulfill His earthly ministry. When we are no longer living, Christ will live through us and do the greater works that we have longed for. When we embrace the crucified life of a disciple, the Lord will bring us to a place in Him in which we will only say and do those things we hear Jesus saying. When we only speak the words of God, and not our own good ideas, Christ will release the Spirit in great power through us:
“For since He Whom God has sent speaks the words of God [proclaims God's own message], God does not give Him His Spirit sparingly or by measure, but boundless is the gift God makes of His Spirit! [Deut. 18:18.] The Father loves the Son and has given (entrusted, committed) everything into His hand. [Dan. 7:14.]” (John 3:34-35 AMPC)
The Lord doesn’t do things how you think or how you want Him to. He does things how He wants to do them.
One of the greatest mistakes I’ve made is trying to get the Lord to do things in my timing. Oh, if I only would’ve had ears to hear this word in 2011, I would have saved myself much pain! But I could not hear it at that time, because I was too strong in self. I spent the next four years trying to get the Lord to anoint me and commission me into ministry in my way and in my timing. I can assure you, the Rock that Jesus is, does not break or move. I stumbled over the stumbling stone and He broke me (Luke 20:18). He broke me of my own good ideas, my timing, my way, and my ministry.
I have learned to wait upon the Lord to move. He is the Master, and I am the disciple. When He is ready to move, He will move. We will all be tested on this issue. Jesus waited 30 years to begin ministry. Will we wait on the Lord for His timing and His way? Will we do only what we see the Father doing? Or will we act on our own good ideas, even if they are godly ministry things?
The Lord has a journey for all of us. This journey is designed to eliminate the mixture from our hearts. If we are going to be carriers of the Lord’s power, the mixture of worldliness and self-life must be removed. The Lord will pour out His Spirit on those who allow Him to purge their hearts of mixture. I want the Lord to finish this process in me. I desire to be fully His, and see all the glory given to Him. Let us go on this journey together. May He go all the way in us, so we can go all the way with Him.
